Oh Plot Bunny! Files #6: Cereal Secrets
by rainjewel
Summary: Ah, this is what I create out of my fevered delirium. Being sick is so much fun! Basically, a story of Trowa vs. The Cereal Box...a piece that strives for humor but I think missed it. I blame the meds I'm on.


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Oh Plot Bunny! Files # 6: Cereal Secrets

By: rainjewel

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Disclaimer: God's Breasts, do you _really_ think I own Gundam Wing or Honey Nut Cheerios? Rather unlikely business partners, that's for sure.

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A/N: Insane little ficlet that is a direct result of my flu-induced boredom. Contains a _very_ minor shounen ai hint. 

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Trowa stared at the cereal box. It looked so innocent, with it's grinning two dimensional honey bee and Box Tops for Education coupon. "May Lower Cholesterol!" it proclaimed, framing the words in a bright red heart. Sweetened whole grain oat cereal, eh? With _real_ honey and _real_ almonds?

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We'll see about that_,_Trowa thought to himself. Even the name, Honey Nut Cheerios®, sounded so explicitly happy.

But, Trowa had noticed, if you flipped the box on its side, turned off all the lights, hung upside down, covered one eye, crossed your fingers, and flexed your abdominal muscles, that honey bee really _did_ look like Treize on crack.

With a calculating glare that would rival Thee Esteemed Spandex-One, Trowa jumped down from the light fixture and righted himself. He then did three _handsprings_, two _backflips_, a _grand_ _triple_ _rotation_ in midair, _and_…crashed into the door.

Cursing to himself, Trowa fumbled about for the light switch. As he turned and dejectedly _walked_ back to the table, he noticed that Crack-A-Bee Treize's grin had grown even wider and more sadistic. Damn cereal these days. Was there _anything_ OZ hadn't poisoned?

"So you think you have me, do you?" Trowa whispered. He chuckled darkly.

The moment had come. Trowa studied both sides of the boxes, thinking out a strategy, while blowing his bang out of his face. It was so annoying to only be able to see half of what's in front of you. Doktor S had said he didn't need any depth perception, but Trowa was beginning to have doubts. Especially after a certain braided baka had chucked a basketball at his head and he had ducked and _then_ risen again, before the ball hit him.

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Stupid Duo, Trowa thought to himself. _Actually, if you think about it, he kind of looks like the Trix Bunny…with those long, white ears and goofy expr—hold it, we're getting off topic. Come on, Big Badass Barton, let's think of something. Crack-A-Bee isn't going to wait forever. Gotta take the initiative._

He decided to go with a bold, decisive attack. One long, elegant finger carefully made it's way to the edge of the box, barely out of the bee's sight. Trowa wanted to throw his head back and laugh in victory, but knew he shouldn't count his prepubescent _Gallus Gallus_ prior the end of their incubation period.

Or something like that.

Trowa inched his finger along under the top flap of the cereal box. With each movement he was closer to his ultimate victory! The excitement inside of him began to grow and swell. It became apparent that Quatre was _not_ going to get any sleep tonight.

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Almost there, almost there, almost—

"YO, TRO-MAN," Duo boomed out as he walked into the kitchen.

Trowa jumped up as high as an…an…well shit, as an _acrobat_, twists and all. Of course, the shock caused him to jerk his finger up through the lip of the cereal box top, ripping the cardboard.

Two flips later he landed on his feet, green eye wide and bang on end. Duo gave him a look, then turned and ran, screaming.

"FART BLOWING SQUIRRELS!" Trowa screamed at the top of his lungs. He leaped over to the cardboard box where Crack-A-Bee Treize smiled up at him most devilishly. He took the box and pulled the cereal out. Easily he ripped through the plastic bag and began tossing cereal around the kitchen.

"It's not fair!" he cried, "I can never open these damn things! No matter _what_ I do they always rip, they always break! I swear, it's enough to drive a quiet, angst-ridden, obviously tortured terrorist such as myself into utter insanity! Why me? WHY?"

Heero walked in, carrying a chibified Duo who was sucking on his thumb. He took in the look on Trowa's face, the Honey Nut Cheerios on the ground, and Duo's round little face. Big cobalt eyes stared up at him longingly. Actually, this chibi thing was quite a turn on. Little Maxwell, all defenseless and—

Heero calmed himself. Thinking those thoughts _while_ wearing spandex was reputation damaging. Unless of course, he were around Relena. He shuddered at the thought.

He hitched Chibi-Duo up with one arm, withdrew a gun from the depths of his spandex, and shot Trowa in the ass with a tranquilizer dart. 

Trowa looked down at the fluffy, hot pink dart sticking out of his jeans. "My pert little ass! Ruined!" he cried, and then dropped to the floor. Heero grinned and reminded himself to steal more of Relena's toys.

Instantly, Duo resumed his natural state of being. He began to cuddle Heero at once and told him of lovely stories regarding "rewards" for his "hero."

The two boys turned around and were heading for the door, when Quatre walked up wearing baby blue bunny slippers. He yawned, looking very cute, as only Quatre can.

The angelic, blonde Arabian, with eyes the color of the ocean, with his sweet nature, awe-inspiring empathetic ways, and a caffeine addiction the size of a small planet, looked in at the Cheerio-covered Trowa. He sighed.

"I've really got to tell Wufei to stop buying that cereal," he said, reaching for the coffeepot. "I don't care if that stupid bee _does_ look like Treize."

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End file.
